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This week:

The bizarre Nancy Pelosi water conspiracy theory.

Steve Bannon pushes a wall made of hemp.

Is George Papadopoulos a QAnon guy now?

Right Richter Movie Corner.

The Nancy Pelosi fancy water hoax

Here’s an odd one. A week after the State of the Union, a significant percent of the pro-Trump internet has become convinced that Nancy Pelosi was drinking out of some baroque water contraption during the speech, rather than out of a humble glass.

This idea appears to have come from Jim Hoft’s Gateway Pundit, the hoax blog responsible for so much terrible content. On the night of the speech, Gateway Pundit pointed to an elaborate crystal contraption sitting on Pelosi’s desk, claiming that Pelosi was drinking out of it.

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Screenshot via Gateway Pundit

While Mike Pence used only a cup, according to the post, Pelosi is such a coastal elite that she has to drink out of multiple crystalline chambers like a member of House Harkonnen. Gateway Pundit declared that, thanks to her water predilections, Pelosi was now “QUEEN NANCY.”

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Screenshot via Gateway Pundit

“Speaker Pelosi has an entire water display,” the Gateway Pundit post read. “Mike Pence has a simple water glass.”

This might strike you as crazy, because no one in the world drinks out of a “water display.” And you’d be right!

It turns out the crystal thing is not some sort of Rube Goldberg hydration contraption. Instead, it’s an antique set of inkwells that Republican John Boehner, among others, had on his podium when he was Speaker of the House.

Hoft deleted the post later by Wednesday morning after realizing his error. But the idea that Pelosi is so snobby that she won’t even drink out of a regular water glass has already taken root on the conservative internet.

Steve Bannon wants to make the Wall out of hemp

The $20 million raised to crowdfund the border wall has become a kind of vortex for somewhat-employed Trumpworld types, sucking in everyone from Sheriff David Clarke to former Kansas Secretary of State Kris Kobach.

Now Steve Bannon is on board, too, and he’s got an idea so crazy it just might work: build the wall out of hemp!

In an interview with Vice on Friday, Bannon said that he wants the wall to be made at least in part from “hempcrete,” a concrete-like substance made of hemp. 

“Don’t laugh,” Bannon told Vice. “I’m obsessed with the hempcrete.”

Bannon and the other wall crowdfunders are now touring border states in an attempt to find land to build their wall — made of hemp, or not.

George Papadopoulos courts QAnon

Former Mueller target and Trump campaign aide George Papadopoulos appears to have realized there’s money to be made by making QAnon believers think he’s on their side.

Coincidentally, he has a book coming out soon.

On Tuesday, Papadopoulos quoted a common QAnon slogan, “Trust the plan,” on Twitter. His mentions filled up with excited QAnon believers convinced he’d given them proof that Q, who has been bleeding followers lately, is actually real.

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Screenshot via Twitter

Asked whether this means he’s a QAnon guy now, Papadopoulos, who has been scrambling to build some kind of career on right-wing media since his prison term, demurred.

“Just trusting the plan, man,” Papadopoulos told The Daily Beast. “Big news coming soon in my book.”

The Dip Run

I recently paid $6 to watch The Dip Run, a recent road trip movie starring various figures on the pro-Trump internet. In a historic first, this may be the first movie ever produced by a company that makes a line of dip spittoons.

The Dip Run’s protagonists are four young men, all of whom are affiliated in various ways with the actual spitoon company Mud Jug and at least two of whom have their own Trump-themed clothing lines to push.

The Dip Run’s stars include:

Darcy Compton, a gruff purveyor of dipping merchandise.
Jesse Ryan, who runs a site selling T-shirts with stuff like the Trump “covfefe” tweet and “Border Wall Construction” printed on them for $25 each.
Outlaw, a hugely popular southern YouTube and Instagram personality who promotes Trump-themed dipping spitoons.

Playing themselves, our heroes are intent on getting a “shit ton” of dip chewing tobacco, but what they find instead is a world bedeviled by Democrats.

Warning: Dip Run spoilers ahead.

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Dip Run’s plot is basically a bunch of road-trip interludes, including a wildly transphobic section at a strip club and an encounter with country “inbreds.” Various pro-Trump figures pop in, including internet personality Outlaw Morgan as a hillbilly and actress Mindy Robinson as a hitchhiker with Tourette’s syndrome.

To give you a sense of the vibe, the fellas guzzle bourbon on the road, talk about how they can’t wait to get out of “Commie-fornia,” call their foes “soy boys,” and urge one another to “let go out your cocks and pack your socks.” One guy wears the Proud Boy uniform, and no one even comments on it.

The highlight of the film is an appearance by right-wing personality Kyle “Based Stickman” Chapman, who made his name attacking antifascists in Berkeley in the summer of 2017. Chapman ultimately founded the Proud Boys’ militant wing, the “Fraternal Order of Alt Knights,” before getting bogged down in legal troubles over his eponymous stick.

Between the start of his internet celebrity and before the law closed in, Chapman apparently had time to appear in The Dip Run as a treacherous bouncer at an underground poker game. In the movie, Chapman’s character claims he’ll help the good guys cheat, only to betray them at the last minute. Based Stickman!

But Dip Run’s true villain is even more sinister: he’s a Democrat. The boys originally pick up this fellow on the road, after he introduces himself as a soldier.

He’s also a compulsive masturbator, but our heroes initially don’t mind that. But then they discover that he’s a liberal, who even wears a Women’s March pussy hat.

The Hillary-loving villain eventually steals the money they had planned for all that dip, requiring the boys to track him down. Then they discover that he’s not even a veteran.

“Stolen valor, motherfucker!” one of the heroes shouts.

The Dip Run was not a good movie.

In next week’s issue

I’m still cooking up a look at the next generation of right-wing media stars. One guy skateboards! In the meantime, send me your Dip Run takes via email or  hit me up on Twitter.

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